Does anyone else ever get that guilty little gut feeling that you should be feeling happy, like, really happy, because so many great things are happening in your life… but there’s just this low hum-like feeling inside? Like a gentle murmur you can’t quite pinpoint.
Yeah. Me too. And this month’s chit-chat? Let’s just call it what it is: a proper open-up. Screw it, this one’s basically a therapy session. I’ve never been one to shy away from honesty, and if you’re part of this wild Catherine’s Originals journey, then you’re part of all of it, not just the shiny bits. And before anyone comes at me, I am well aware my points and tricky moments may be very different and small on the grand big picture of what’s going on in the world. But this is a space where I share the journey of Catherine’s Originals, so why not share it all.
You can scroll through a screen and see someone’s “highlight reel”: a business thriving, bright colours, creative ideas, and successes. But behind all we see on the screen, there are layers. And I mean, layers.
Everything we create at Catherine’s Originals- every product, every idea, every launch, is built with love. From day one, that’s what it’s been about. But I’ll be honest: even when everything looks good on the outside, the sun ain’t always shining at Choco HQ. Sometimes I should feel elated… but I don’t. And then the guilt kicks in.
Catherine’s Originals started with my family, it started with Will. My eldest brother. He was on Team CO’s before it was even a thing. Before Jamie came into the picture, before hand-wrapping chocolates at the kitchen table, before anything. He was the first person I told, and he was all in. Always has been. So when his world did a 360, after little wonderful Amara Grace (my niece) arrived, so did our relationship. Everyone always speaks about mixing family and work, but the kind of person I am, I have to experience it for myself before I believe it.
Family dynamics shift. And when they shift, it can feel weird and uncomfortable and hard. There’s layers of emotions and change. It’s unsettling for everyone.
Last Friday, Jamie and I ended the week on what might just be our biggest single order yet. Four years of hustle, emails, markets, stress, growth - and then boom, this opportunity lands in our inbox. It felt like a movie moment. Champagne emoji kinda vibe. Except… we’re still waiting for the final PO to come in (basically the order slip). So now it’s just us, hitting refresh, waiting for the phone to ring. My dad calls this bigdeal-itis, and honestly, it’s the most accurate diagnosis I’ve ever heard.
Then came the weekend. We had grand plans for a successful, productive New Product Development (NPD) session. You know, cool shapes, fun music, chocolates everywhere, creativity, laughs. What we got instead was: frustration, tears, a few choice words, and a "Where is that?!" or "Why haven’t you done this?" kind of energy. Not exactly the day we had in mind.
I literally Googled, “Why am I feeling sad when life is good?” But I guess what I’m really trying to say is that behind the vibrant Instagram posts, behind the growth graphs, and behind every joyful launch… it sometimes just feels like a lot. I’m not looking for people to write back and say “you’re allowed to feel this way” or “keep going”. I am well aware of the path I chose, I’m not looking for validation, but to merely share the journey of what it’s like growing CO’s
Then there’s the working-with-your-partner stuff (which, yes, I LOVE Jamie, but essentially being his boss? Oof) and living with your head chocolatier/good friend... Going home doesn’t actually feel like going home, as there’s no space to switch off.
I keep asking myself: Have we gone backwards? Is this failure? But then I try to flip it, maybe these anxious feelings are the business growing. Maybe it feels like failure because we’re learning again. Starting again. And that can be just as scary as it is exciting. The annoying thing is I have absolutely no idea if these feelings are normal as a founder, trying to navigate a business in a world still so new to me. The scale-up world.
The only way I can describe social media is bittersweet. It’s so easy to fall into the trap. One minute you’re looking for a bit of inspo, and next thing you know you’re watching yet another "5am routine girlboss" reel, and you feel like absolute crap about yourself. That you’re not doing enough. Well, that can be me some of the time.
That’s why I deleted social media entirely when I was 18. It did more harm than good to me. I’ve grown since then, I get that it’s a tool now, but even so, it’s a hard balance when it’s an essential in the business world. Stepping away isn’t really an option. That’s why these blogs help me breathe a little. No pressure. No filters. No expectations. Just me, chatting to you. Don’t get me wrong, I try to keep that same attitude over on Instagram/FB, but something about Instagram and social media, just doesn’t feel the same like reading an unnecessarily wordy letter over on here.
Is it weird that I want to share Jamie’s and mine successes of finishing a puzzle? That’s right, it only took us since May and has been sitting on the kitchen table since then. I also went camping with Mum. It was supposed to be sunshine and yoga in a golden field… but it turned into book marathons wrapped up in duvets, head to toe in mum’s van, avoiding the muddy puddles as we hop to the compost loo. Wouldn’t change it for the world. It reminded me how important it is to carve out time for your family. Something I will always try to make more time for. It’s so easy to put family time secondary when growing a business and, in all honesty, when life just starts lifeing.
NPD has been giving us major throwback feelings. Supplier issues, wondering emails, wrong samples sent, missing moulds etc. Alongside, blocked sinks, leaking AC units, new product launches, new staff, normalising staff meetings, planning for easter 2026.. Christmas 2026! You name it.
We’ve had machine drama. Shoutout to Jamie’s dad (ex BA engineer turned honorary chocolate machine master) for fixing our broken part- proving planes and chocolate machines might be more similar than you'd think.
Raspberry Ripple pre-orders will soon be coming to an end, Punchy Pistachio’s are nearly gone, and the summer selection box is almost sold out. Meanwhile, I’m knee-deep in Christmas already. Summer left me before it started.
I have always treated this as a space to let it out, to share it with you, my OGs. Why change that tone just because we are growing? You’ve been with me through it all, and I’ll always keep it real with you. The highs, the lows, the meltdowns. You’re part of this team, and I’m so grateful for that.
Stay Sweet, Choco Lovers,
Catherine x
Now… it’s time for a chocolate me thinks.